THE PAST

This might be one of the hardest and most controversial pages on this site, but as always, I ask that you read it, think about it, and let your conscience be your guide.

We all have a tendency to hold onto the past, especially the past that has been pain filled, hurtful and just plain negative. Why? Because it carries the strongest energy, and not because you are dysfunctional or a bad person. (Read this over several times before proceeding)

BUT, you simply cannot fill your heart with love if there isn't any room. You cannot think positive thoughts if there isn't any room for them. It's all impossible!

The real danger is if you don't think you have any negative thoughts or maybe if you think that it is okay to be pissed at someone who did you wrong. It's dangerous because that kind of thinking is self-sabotaging, because you are fooling yourself. It's you who are now hurting yourself, not the issues of the past.

So, how do you get over the negativity? The past is the past, period. It made you who you are today, but remember, that you can remake yourself any time you want. You have FREE WILL, and a consciousness that can and will transcend the negativity, if that's what you want. It all has to do with choice.

Don't think I don't know what I'm talking about, I do. Here's an example: I was sexually abused growing up, yet I tried to apply the higher law of forgiveness to the perpetrator. Just when I thought I was doing so great in getting over it, the perp, my dad, (for some reason I will never know) tried to kill me. He died of a heart attack during his hammer attack on me. I was brought up on murder charges, which they were finally dropped, (because they found O-neg blood and assumed it was my dads. I was O-neg and demanded DNA tests, which exonerated me), then I spent a year in intensive rehab for head injury and brain stem injury. Ok, enough said on all that garbage.

About 3 years ago it was like I finally I woke up from the worst nightmare of my life. It had been horrible because for years I tried to understand the what and why's of what had happened, and even why my own siblings turned against me. The awakening was that I realized that none if it mattered a hill of beans anymore because my dad took his reasoning to the grave with him! It took several more days to realize that nothing in my entire past mattered at all because all that did matter is that I survived. Period.

Being an Indigo, I didn't leave it there. No siree, I had to keep asking why . . . why did I survive? Surely there was a reason. And there was a reason, a clearly defined answer as to why I survived everything that I did. I was supposed to survive, and I'm still supposed to be here. DUH!

For a long while I didn't know why I was supposed to be here other than my presence was required here. Plain and simple. We Indigos have a tendency to complicate things by thinking them to death, or by analyzing the hell out of them. Once you get over the need to ask 'why' of everything, you will start on the path you need to be on. It's comparable to blind faith, and Indigos don't like that. They like being in control, but it's yet another lesson to master before moving on.

So, what's the point of this little dissertation? If you are still alive, then your presence has been ordered as such! You are needed! You are necessary! And the past doesn't mean anything now because you have more to do in the present and future than you would ever realize. BUT, you will not begin your mission, your purpose until you let go of the hurts, pain and fear of the past and make a conscious effort to face the future. (Please read The First Transition also)

That's why the past doesn't matter anymore. It really doesn't. You've gained all you needed from it and like an old pair of tennis shoes, it's up to you to toss it out, and put on your new 5th Dimension dancing shoes. Look at it this way, "who you were then, in the past, was obviously right at the time - but who you are now and who you are going to be is much more important."

You can make this hard on yourself, or you can succeed quickly, it's all up to you and your free will. But wouldn't it be nice if you could just drop off the past like a bag of trash on your way downtown to go shopping for something new? It can be. And as you begin this process, you have to remain vigilant to those negative thoughts creeping back into your mind, and when you are aware of it, pack them up and toss them out, or whatever it is that works for you. Don't let them sneak back up on you, because you've made a decision to be the new you. Why? Because, you have work to do my dear, stop putting it off! Your Presence in Required, NOW!!!