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When we were born, God or The Higher Source (whatever term is right for you) validated us, and when someone abuses us it's an invalidation of our self, our self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth. Literally, the abuse voids us. So we have to be able to go back, go within, and "revalidate" what was once valid. But we can only begin the process if we apply the rules of 'forgiveness and forgetfulness'.

Just for the sake of this little dissertation, I extracted a few definitions of words that are vitally important to understand. The definitions were found in Webster's.

Valid: Strong, powerful, having legal force, properly executed and binding under the law; well-grounded on principles or evidence. Valid applies to that which cannot be objected to because it conforms to law, logic, the facts, etc. and it is free from error.

Synonym: Evidential, good, legal, powerful, sound, satisfactory, satisfying

Validate: To make binding under the law; to give legal force to; declare legally; to confirm the validity of.

Synonym: Authorize, confirm, legalize, make certain, ratify, make true, ratify.

Invalidate: To deprive of legal force.

Invalid: Having no force; null and/or void.

Revalidate: To make a new validation. To get back the power.

Synonym: To re-powerize, re-legalize, to re-authorize.

Void: Having no effect or result; ineffective; useless; total emptiness; a feeling of emptiness or deprivation; to vacate; nullify.

Forgive: To give up resentment against or the desire to punish; to stop being angry with; to pardon. To give up all claim to punish or exact penalty for an offense. To cancel or remit. To turn over to a higher authority.

Forget: To lose facts or knowledge from the mind; fail to recall.

With these definitions in mind let me continue making a very important point. When we were born, God/The Higher Source validated us. We were empowered by His principles because we were declared a child of that Higher Source. When someone abuses us, it is an invalidation of our self, our self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth. That invalidation deprives us of the Higher Source's force within us, and generally, we spend the rest of our lives searching for something but failing to realize that we are searching for that Higher Source again. That we are searching for that Divine validation of who we really are.

In simpler words, the abuse voids us, and we end up struggling through life as ineffectual beings, or so we feel. We struggle because we feel empty inside, deprived of the Source connection we all had as children.

So we have to be able to go back to the child within and re-validate what was once valid. We have to get the power back, we have to get our Source connection going again. We have to re-legalize ourselves with that divine connection. But we can only begin the process if we apply the rules of 'forgiveness and forgetfulness'.

Forgiveness and forgetfulness is probably two of the most misunderstood words in the English language. We all think we know what they mean, but if you read the above definitions, you will probably be amazed to learn that you didn't know what they truly meant. That's why it is so hard to forgive and forget. So how do we do it, now that we know the accurate definitions? It's more simple than you would ever imagine.

We have to be able to quit hanging onto the abuser and turn him/her over to a higher judge. To forgive means that we have to give up the desire to punish that person, or to give up our perceived right to exact a penalty for their offenses against us. It doesn't mean that we have to say that whatever that abuser did was okay and all is forgotten. No Siree, it means that we simply have to say, "I don't want that pain in my life anymore, here, you God/Higher Source take it, and I trust, and have faith, that you will deal with it and the abuser according to the abusers crime, and I can forget about all of it from here on out!