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Name
Namaste to all! As I am only 18, my story is still in the beginnings, but I thought I would share it anyway, and add more as more comes along. I hope it helps any that need it, in any way. (I'll start with a little life-history first, as it is that that taught me most of the Indigo traits, even though I wasn't aware I was accumulating, or learning them). It's a textbook story really. My mother fell in love with my seemingly nice father, married at 21, my father then revealed himself as one of those typical mysogenystic and chauvenistic "Why isn't my dinner on the table?!" husbands. One night, after years of unhappiness, she packed a bag and me and my brother (me aged 3, my brother 2 months) and left. We lived with my nan and grandad for 5 years, enduring custody battles, court trials, appeals, threats....my father was arrested twice for trying to murder my mom, he would break into my nan's house to try and kidnap me, he would even try to take me from school. He was suicidal and crazed. I was 7 when my mom finally stopped us seeing him, because after one visit, he wouldn't let us out of his flat. I would dread sundays, because for 6 hours he would question me "Why doesn't your mother love me? Has your mom got a boyfriend? Why has she got a boyfriend? (I didn't even understand what a boyfriend really was!) Will you tell her to come back to me? Who's your favourite parent?" I would always say him, because I was too scared to say otherwise. He never bothered with my brother, but he would send me letters telling me how evil my grandparents were, how horrible my mom was, and how she was lying about him, trying to keep me to herself. I never once believed him, and it is his attempts that have given me the gift to see through any manipulation. It was also him that began to alienate me from boys and men, because I expected nothing from them except betrayal and pain. I became a hardened feminist, fighting men for the sake of fighting them. I turned avidly to science, and enveloped myself in the idea of ocular proof, having no faith in any 'God', wanting no faith in any 'God'. As far as I was concerned, we lived, we died, boo hoo. There was no grand plan, we were merely a by product of the Big Bang. Then I began to calm down. I applied for college, I saw a whole new life opening up ahead of me, independence, new people, new times. I decided I had to get rid of the thing that was making me so faithless, so at the dawn of my 16th birthday, I wrote to my Dad and told him I didn't want to see him any more. He isn't even supposed to legally see us, though he would visit at easter, birthdays and christmas. I was sick of dreading what should be incredibly happy times, having to endure him standing outside, leaning casually against his car, smoking, whilst me and my brother would be shivering in the cold, him trying to manipulate us, and turn us against my mom. I sent the letter, he replied with a "I expected things to change when you turned 16, but not for you to cut me out entirely. I have a 55,000 pound house to leave for you and your brother". Typical him, thought he could buy us. I was never materialistic anyway, but because his attempts at buying us, I will never set much store my material wealth, gain, luxury, though one year, for my birthday, he sent me a huge cardboard box full of tissues. I kid you not, tissues! You know the kind? Those little hand-packet ones. Tissues...... so I guess even if he is of a materialistic mentality, he still isn't the kind of father to shower us with wonderful gifts. For some people, that is their way of expressing love, so how much does a box full of tissues say about how much he loves me? Oh, then there was the time he turned up with a couple of boxes of ice-creams he'd stolen from the back of his delivery van.... Anyway, sorry, getting sidetracked. I started college and started to calm down, become less opinionated, become a humanist rather than a feminist, directing my energies into animal welfare. I still didn't believe in a higher force of any kind, I did start to recognise Good and Evil, though I still thought of them as nothing more than branches of human nature. Then, one day I went with my mother to see 'The Passion of the Christ', simply because I thought it looked interesting. I have always been facinated by things from that kind of setting in history...egypt and whatnot. For me, watching that film was like watching him die. I mean, actually die. It was like witnessing the most brutal and unjust muder in history as though it were happening before me, not on a screen. It took every ounce of strength in my body, mind and soul not to get up in the middle of the cinema, tears streaming down my face, and scream at them to stop. I got home, still crying, locked myself in the bathroom, and was looking at myself in the mirror asking why such terrible things have to happen to such good people, when Jesus came to me. I didn't see him, because I am Clairsentient, but he was there. His voice came in my head, telling me not to burden my heart this way, and then I felt him put his arms around him. I cried for two days after that. I was heart-broken, or as near to heart-broken as I have ever gotten. I didn't heed his words, because I guess I didn't really know what was going on. It felt like I had been ripped from my old world, and dumped into a new one, where everything seemed even more big and terrible and menacing. On the third day, I got up early, before anyone else, and went down into the kitchen. Looking out of the window ahead of me, I saw the most magnificent raven walking down the garden towards the house. To me, Raven's still signified death. I stood stock still, and so did the Raven. It turned its head, and was looking right at me. I was terrified. I didn't know what was going on, and I thought, "No, I'm going to die." What seemed like an age passed. This bird was the size of a small cat, with white feathers on it's chest, and from the first moment I saw it, I was reminded of an old native american master, wise and powerful. Then, as though satisfied I knew it was here for me, it took off, cawing loudly. My Nan, who is an art teacher and homeopath had recently starting learning the art of Aura Soma (colour healing, for any who don't know), and she came to visit me later that day because she was really concerned. She did a reading for me. Basically, you have to look at a collection of bottles, which contain combinations of colours in holy water. Each bottle is channelled through from ascended masters, Jesus and angels...the latest one is Metatron, I believe. (I just love Metatron!). Anyway, I picked some amazing bottles, which bascially said I was from somewhere else, like another universe or something, that I had come to Atlantis, and was now back again to help change things through the media. Before 'The Passion of the Christ', I would have scoffed. But now, it was like waking up. Suddenly my ability to understand complex cosmic theories made sense, my fascination with the Bermuda Traingle (although, I hear Atlantis was some Greek Island, but I think my fascination still makes sense, because it was the quest for Atlantis) and my intense love of Dolphins (I don't actually know whether there is anything written about Atlantis and Dolphins being linked, but personally, it is rare that I think about one without thinking about the other) made sense. I'd wanted to be an RAF pilot, and an astronaut so I could get closer to space because I realise now, I wanted to be closer to 'home'. We started talking about Indigo children, and I suddenly knew, without hearing any detailed descriptions, that I was one. Then we got on to angels, and no sooner had my nan finished saying that those little pure white feathers that appear out of no where are signs from the angels, did one float slowly down into the midst of us. (We were sitting in the garden, but I heard or saw no bird overhead). It seemed to glow, and even now, 1 year on, I can see it clear as day. It was then that I knew the angels were here. Anyway, it wasn't the last I had seen of the Raven. After my nan had left, I felt jubilated and content, and settled down at my desk to do my homework. I'd mentioned the Raven, and she said to look up its meaning. I looked out my window, and thought jokingly, "Hmm, I wonder what that Magpie means?". The thought began to form, and before there was time for the words to actually become a proper thought, the Raven came flying out of no where, attacked the magpie, and chased it off. It was like it was saying, "Hey! Not him, find out what I mean!". So I did, and it meant spiritual transformation, the death of the old self, not physical death as it is so often thought. I was gobsmacked, astounded, and all other variations of shocked there are in the dictionary. But, later that night I got terrified. The initial pleasure wore off, and I felt even more lost than before. I was one of these Indigos, but what was an Indigo exactly? I come from space? Atlantis? Talking to Angels? Talking to JESUS? You're having a laugh, right? When I got into bed I said, tell me what I have to do, tell me why I am here, if this is real, show me. Before I'd even fallen asleep I felt two angels over me. The one who I now know is my guardian angel stood on my right, a tall, beautiful blonde-haired and blue-eyed man, and another on my left, a woman with brown hair in ringlets, hazel eyes and freckles across her nose. "This is Aiyana, you can call me Aiyesha." the man said, "We will call you Alina.". "You're here to heal." Aiyana added, in voices so lovely that I drifted off to sleep. I dreamt I was with Aiyana, standing over a brown-haired male on a bed, and we were healing him. Then she said she had to depart, and she left. Since then I have had some experiences with spirits, someone in my area was trying to move them on, but doing it badly, and because these spirits sensed I had some power, they came to me. I've had nightmares, thrashing fits, you name it....but they don't mean me harm, they just want my attention, though sometimes, they get so overwhelming that I feel sick and just want to punch them! My clairsentience is developing steadily, and Aiyesha is helping to start channelling the angels. Not so long ago, my family had to get together and do a group-prayer thing, because someone has been spiritually "attacking" my Nan and Grandad (if anyone knows anything about ectoplasm, could you please let me know?), and I felt Archangel Michael come into our midst, and he started channelling his protective powers through me. It was like I was drawing all the power from my family, plus Michael's, into me where it was bursting out through my chest, but it got too overpowering and I collapsed and fainted. Aiyesha said he got a bit too excited, and pushed me a tad too far..whups. I go through periods where I don't really talk to Aiyesha, if my mind is too preoccupied with Earthly-stuff, then there are times when we spend ages talking. If you haven't already read Doreen Virtue's books, I urge you to. They are amazing. Anyway, that's the story so far! Sorry, it's been a little longer than I expected, but it feels good to get it all out and tell it to people who appreciate it for what it is. :D Thanks! Maybe I'll have some more to write soon! Purple
Angel (Xela0107@hotmail.com-
just in case.)
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