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The Indigo Story of
Wanderling

Namaste!

I'm not sure what to write and always have troubles in writing about myself. Experience has told me I should never tell everything. This group seems to embrace exactly what I've been forced to hide. Although I don't speak much in every day life, I do love to write and write a lot. I will try to keep it as short as possible without sacrificing quality.

I've come to this site quite by accident. Actually, that's not true: it was synchronicity. I have always been labeled as "odd", a dreamer, or a witch. Had I been born in the 1600s, I surely would have been burned as a heretic. I'm so glad humanity has moved past the need to burn people at the stake (for now, anyway). I've felt a tremendous shift in 2000 and only now am realizing potentials for the service of humanity that I always knew about in the back of my mind, but have essentially suppressed until now.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. I have been "aware" from the time I was still in the crib (age uncertain). I recall sitting in my crib looking at a book and seeing a hand reach out from my wall and through the rungs of my crib. I screamed and the chaos began. From that day, all sorts of strange and unexplainable events occurred that I'll likely never be able to explain.

At the age of about three, I had nightmares every night that someone was trying to strangle me as I slept. I was never afraid of the dark, but only what happened as I slept. The dreams I had were very surreal and not something small children should ever have born witness to. It was a very frightening time for me. It wasn't until the age of four that I finally discovered that I no longer had to fear what I was dreaming. It started to make more sense to me then. I was able to Astral Project for all that time and hadn't known it. I dreamt of past lives in Sri Lanka and drove my mother crazy with questions about Sri Lanka. She had never heard of it and eventually told me I was weird and to just go away.

What about that hand in the wall while I was in the crib? Oh...well here's something interesting that I still don't understand. I am truly hoping someone can enlighten me as to its meaning one day. From that time, I had an imaginary friend. Only...it wasn't really an imaginary friend. I still don't know what it was. I recall only sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of my bedroom wall for hours every day talking to a man. All I could see was his hands and feet. I couldn't actually hear his voice in the audible sense, but knew what he was saying. I know I never saw his face, but I never looked up either. I was afraid of this man, but not in the young, terrified child sense. I recall it being more of a sense of awe. I know he spoke of many things as I was there for hours a day for the first five years of life, but I have no recall as to what was said. I wish I did. I'm sure it would answer a lot of questions.

From the age of six or seven, I discovered I was clairvoyant. It was a wonderful tool to use in school. It meant never having to study. I never studied a day in my life in school or in University. I never learned how! To me, study meant memorization. Now I think of studying as doing. If I do it or practice what I want to learn, I will remember better. I've always been my own best teacher. Despite my clairvoyance, I was not an A student in most subjects.

Also from the age of six or seven, I had a love for outer space. I know that sounds odd, but you'll see how it ties together soon. My mother worked at a convenience store and brought home a book on the Solar System. I read and re-read this book what must have seemed like a million times. I carried it everywhere, got a telescope for Christmas and sat outside at night watching the skies. I wanted to be a astronomer when I grew up and study the Universe. I still had that book right up until the ending of my first marriage.

My relationship with my parents? Hmmm...I was weird and not the favorite. I was told a billion times to grow up, quit daydreaming, you'll never amount to anything. I was the sole survivor of a pair of twins. My twin brother died at birth and my mother made no bones about how she wished it was the other way around. She was an absolute tyrant! She still resents me to this day, although our relationship is more palatable. We'll never be close because she says she can't relate to me. She only started to accept me once my younger sister (the favorite) started to become just like me. All of the things my mother hated in me, she loved in my sister. My sister was supposed to be the one to make something of herself. She's still in the same boat I am as I believe she is also an Indigo adult. She is my best friend, along with my husband and soul mate, yet another Indigo adult.

In school, I didn't have the greatest of marks unless it interested me; like geometry and trigonometry or art. I loved art! Despite having an IQ of 159, all of my report cards contained the words, "Wendy often daydreams too much and doesn't pay attention to what is being taught". That got me into trouble with my parents a lot, but I figured as long as I choked it down and passed, what's the big deal? High school was the worst! We were told from the first day there to choose a life career and study towards it. I couldn't do it. I had no idea what I wanted to do. I wasn't allowed to study everything to keep me well rounded and leave my options open, so I was pegged into college prep from the beginning and hated it! I loved the science and most of the other subjects, but I hated having to choose. I missed more and more time. Although I was never at school, I still passed every subject. I never failed any of them. I hated school!

Grade 11 changed my life yet again. The first week of school, I was brutally raped by four of my peers. This caused me to lose every single friend I had ever known because these were the popular boys I ratted out and sent to jail. I stood alone in the court room against a dozen witnesses and won every single case and saw them all go to jail. I missed the first half of that year from school and ended up going to another school for the last half of grade 11. I passed the year despite missing the complete first half (although barely)! Death threats and stalkings were a daily part of life for about two years after. The same thing happened three years earlier and then three years before that. In total, I've been a victim of rape or sexual assault where I barely escaped rape nine times. It was a cycle of every three years. This would be the catalyst for my studies in University.

I had become obsessed with human understanding after that. What makes people tick? Why do some people like to hurt others? Why do some people heal quickly from such attacks (like myself) and others have their lives utterly destroyed by it? I studied Psychology and Criminology in University and loved it, but it wasn't enough. I still don't have the understanding of humanity that I want. Being pigeon-holed into a desk job, just didn't appeal to me either.

I have studied many subjects in my short 35 years of life. I am (in no particular order) an artist, graphic artist, sculptor, carver, painter, gardener, psychologist, criminologist, clairvoyant, empath, astral projectionist, online psychic (for free...always for free), writer, teacher, counselor, light worker, reflexologist, masseuse, herbologist, computer geek, web designer, director for a paranormal research society, historian, philosopher, paralegal, office administrator, accounting clerk, customer service representative, public relations manager for homeless women, a wife, a mother and so much more. At the same time, I am none of these. None of these things, alone or in and of itself, define me. I really don't think there is a job out there that will ever satisfy me and define me. This creates many problems. All of these things I do very well, but all of them bore me after doing it for too long. I have to mix it up. I do hope I will find the right career before too long, but I think I'll be limiting myself again.

I know I sound flighty, but I'm not really. Those who know me think I'm great, stable, loyal and a good listener and sympathizer, although I'm not quite like them. I have no problems whatsoever with people. I get along with everyone I meet. Sometimes though, I have troubles with men. They think that because I try to understand them, that it means I love them in a sense that was not intended. It never ceases to amaze me how some people can't discern between Universal love and physical love. But again, I digress. The pattern here? I am here for the service of humanity without compromising self. That is my purpose. I still bear my labels though. Some are afraid of me. That scares and hurts me knowing that.

The oddest thing? Everywhere I go in this world, there’s at least one person who says to me, “I know you!” I could have been a spy! LOL! The one thing they say is that I am a gentle person that they are absolutely positive they know, but they can never say from where. I’ve even been seen in Sri Lanka and I’ve never been there. Very curious! Could these be fellow Indigos?

Remember that astronomy book? I always had an A+ in trigonometry and geometry as well. Synchronicity in action again. My love of planets and outer space did not lead me to a life as an astronomer, but as an astrologist. I have been doing astrology for almost 20 years. It's the one thing that never bores me. I do readings for everyone and have never charged for it. I love the way art, science and intuition meld seamlessly. It still doesn't define me, but it's the closest yet. Now that I know, the one thing that DOES define me is Indigo! When I tell people this and they still don't understand, yet another synchronous event comes to mind. For about 6 years (since I saw this written somewhere) I have always used one particular saying and no other without really knowing how to actually apply it to my life. Now I know how that defines me exactly. "For those who understand, no words are necessary. For those who do not, no words are possible." Add to that quote now, "I am Indigo!"

Wanderling

P.S. There's soooo much more to add, but I won't. ;-) Maybe another day!

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